Tips for Finding a Qualified Mental Health Provider

June 5, 2011 at 8:34 pm · Filed under Coping with Mental Illness

Leslie Baker, MA, MFT

Finding a good therapist is like finding a favorite pair of shoes—they provide you with therapeutic support and   comfort while helping you reach your destination. But finding a competent mental health provider may be a       little more complicated than finding the perfect pair of shoes. Understanding how to locate and choose a qualified mental health provider as well as some of the basic elements that assist people in therapeutic change can be crucial for positive outcomes in treatment.

Choosing what type of practitioner to seek is an important first step. Mental health providers that provide psychotherapy may include licensed clinical social workers, marriage and family therapists and licensed professional counselors. Along with psychotherapy, psychologists can also provide testing for mental health issues and psychiatrists may provide medication. Although primary care doctors do not provide psychotherapy, they often can provide referrals to a qualified mental health professional.

The next task in finding a competent psychotherapist is making sure that the practitioner is a licensed professional by the state in which they provide psychotherapy. Most states provide a website for their consumers where a person can verify if the practitioner is qualified by that state to provide psychotherapy.

In addition to checking with your state, ask family and friends for referrals or check out sites like Psychologytoday.com or other therapy referral websites. These websites often offer some access to the practitioner’s professional specialties and office information and give a glimpse at the particular approaches used in treatment. Then, choose a minimum of three different practitioners to try out and see with whom you feel comfortable.

The final step is to take the time, either by phone or in person, to speak directly with the practitioner. Clinicians may offer a free phone consultation ranging from 15 to 20 minutes. It may also help to schedule a one-time, paid appointment to meet the clinician face to face to determine if he or she is the right “fit” for you.

Some questions to consider in talking with a clinician include:

  • How long have you been practicing?
  • What type of training have you completed in this specific treatment area?
  • What is your general approach to treating this concern?
  • How long does treatment usually last?
  • How will you measure progress toward treatment goals?

During these conversations, you want to look for a positive rapport with the clinician, develop an understanding of their expertise with that particular concern and have a general understanding about how they would work toward assisting you in meeting your goals. Developing an understanding of how they might resolve any barriers that arise during therapy is also important. This prevents a client from staying in treatment that is not providing effective change.

It may take some time to find the right therapist. But, once found, he or she can help provide support and comfort throughout life’s journey—just like that perfect pair of shoes.

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Healing Feelings: A Healing Story for Children Coping with a Grownup’s Mental Illness

September 16, 2010 at 4:20 pm · Filed under Coping with Mental Illness, Couples, Teen Issues, Uncategorized ·Tagged , , , , , , , ,

Leslie Baker, MA, MFT, College of Social Sciences, University of Phoenix 

Mental illness touches many families. Few families likely escape it. Living with a mental-illness diagnosis is often a challenge for the person afflicted and the other family members. In fact, its prevalence is demonstrated in statistics from the National Institute of Mental Health:

“Mental disorders are common in the United States and internationally. An estimated 26.2 percent of Americans ages 18 and older—about one in four adults—suffer from a diagnosable mental disorder in a given year. When applied to the 2004 U.S. Census residential population estimate for ages 18 and older, this figure translates to 57.7 million people.”

While the numbers seem daunting, mental disorders are treatable and those managing these conditions can find help to cope. Families are often included in treatment to learn about how they can assist a family member. It’s especially important that children benefit from support. They may believe they’re responsible for the mental health of their caregiver. It’s important to educate and support children so they can begin to understand that mental health issues are not their fault and that treatments are available.

Healing Feelings, recently released in summer 2010, can be a useful book for parents, caregivers and mental-health professionals to employ with children facing these issues. Written in poetic, picture-book style for children ages 3 to 8 years old, it is a warm, rhythmic story that brings hope for healing to children living with a grown-up who is dealing with a mental health issue. The story explores the process of healing feelings and opens up the opportunity to dialogue with children about this challenging topic.Healing Feelings explores the concept of feelings, what they are and how feelings may “get sick.” It explains that mental-health professionals, “feeling healers,” can assist their loved one toward healing. Children and caregivers alike can find hope and support as they read this story.

Healing Feelings is available for purchase at online at http://www.healingourfeelings.com and at Amazon.com and Borders.  If a family member is coping with a mental illness, seek assistance from a qualified mental-health clinician and/or a physician in the community. There are a number of treatment options available that can assist in managing symptoms. The National Institute of Mental Health and the National Alliance on Mental Illness are helpful resources for information and treatment options.

References:

National Institute of Mental Health. (2010). Statistics.

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Valentine’s Day All Year ‘Round: Creating & Maintaining Romantic Rituals

February 10, 2010 at 7:58 pm · Filed under Couples ·Tagged , , , , , , ,

Valentine’s Day is the just around the corner. This day of celebrating “love” was declared February 14 around 498 A.D. by Pope Gelasius*.

Rituals like Valentine’s Day are important for building connections in relationships because the process of affirming the importance of a relationship can be crucial to building stronger bonds. Developing rituals that are celebrated throughout the year is an effective strategy toward deepening meaning and friendship.

Valentine’s Day is a ritual that formalizes the acknowledgement of the love and connection people feel to their significant others. D.J. Canary, L. Stafford, K.S. Hause and L.A. Wallace (1993) noted that joint activities are viewed as the strategy most important in maintaining relationships.

Rituals can encompass many different activities in a relationship including:

  1. Couples time – Enjoyable activities shared together including hobbies, meals and mutually shared interests.
  2. Symbolic Rituals – Rituals that mark celebrations of birthdays, holidays. This also includes rituals that include pet names and play rituals.
  3. Daily routines and tasks – Morning and evening rituals, bedtime, and other daily rituals.
  4. Intimacy expressions – Rituals in both emotional and physical intimacy.
  5. Communication rituals – Sharing, supporting, and venting rituals.
  6. Spiritual rituals – Personal and community rituals.
    Bruess and Pearson (1997; 2002)

Creating and maintaining romantic rituals can enhance, sustain, and build deeper and more meaningful relationships. Couples create meaningful rituals by sharing with each other what is important to them. Make time to sit down with your partner to discuss what rituals you currently share and what new rituals can be created. Listening to each partner’s needs and integrating those needs into the ritual development can assist in the creation of satisfying rituals. When establishing a ritual, it is important to be specific: What would you like to have as a ritual? How will you carry it out? When will you participate in the ritual?

Valentine’s Day comes once a year, but couples can create and maintain meaningful connections throughout the year by practicing their own special rituals on a regular basis. Whether it’s going on a date night once a week, sharing a cup of coffee and the newspaper in the morning or going to the farmers market every Saturday, rituals help us develop closeness and create shared meaning in our lives. Consider creating a day of “love” beyond this Valentine’s Day!

*(http://www.census.gov/Press-Release/www/releases/archives/facts_for_features_special_editions/013032.html).

By: Leslie Baker, MA, MFT

University of Phoenix

College of Social Sciences

References

Bruess, C. J. S., & Pearson, J. C. (1997). Interpersonal rituals in marriage and adult friendship. Communication Monographs, 64, 25-46.

Bruess, C. J. S., & Pearson, J. C. (2002). The function of mundane ritualizing in adult friendship and marriage. Communication Research Reports, 19, 314-326.

Canary, D. J., Stafford, L., Hause, K. S., & Wallace, L. A. (1993). An inductive analysis of relational maintenance strategies: Comparisons among lovers, relatives, friends, and others. Communication Research Reports, 10, 5-14.

Pearson, J. C., Child, J. T. and Carmon, A., 2008-05-22 “Rituals in Dating Relationships: The Development and Validation of a Measure” Paper presented at the annual meeting of the International Communication Association, TBA, Montreal, Quebec, Canada Online <PDF>. 2010-01-23 from http://www.allacademic.com/meta/p232769_index.html

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Negotiation Skills for Couples

November 16, 2009 at 3:06 pm · Filed under Uncategorized ·Tagged , , ,

Leslie Baker webFor many couples, arguing becomes the primary focus of their relationship, leaving the nurturing, fun and joyful aspects of their relationship behind. Developing strategies to manage conflict can strengthen your relationship and allow you to move forward toward positive change.

The following three steps can help you create a “couple communications” strategy:
1. Each of you must understand your own needs as an individual. Develop lists of your individual wants, needs and desires as a way to understand what you what your partner might need. Be specific. For example, if you need alone time, state what that consists of and how much time you need. If more family time is desired, specify what constitutes family time for you.
2. Determine which items you can take care of individually, remembering that you were two individuals before you came together as a couple and that each has different needs and desires. Allowing each other to pursue your own individual activities can bring richness and discovery to your couple-hood, facilitating strength and interest for both partners.
3. Review your lists for items that are couple focused, items that you prefer to do together or can be shared, such as household chores and family activities. Provide detail, including the how and the when. Once you have developed your lists, each partner may choose two items to present to the other partner. Review your requests and negotiate with each other regarding how to reach the goals you have outlined.
4. Remember that any successful negotiation benefits from both partners being well rested and fed before the conversation begins, at time that works for both. Each person makes his or her requests and negotiates regarding how to facilitate reaching the goals.
5. Keep the discussion focused on the specifics of that request. Avoid discussing or bringing up any other issues. Create a timeline and be willing to try new suggestions. For example, if a partner would like to go out more but money is an issue, consider going out for an appetizer and then cooking dinner at home or taking a picnic to a spot you both enjoy. Once an issue has been agreed upon, try it out. Then, listen to the next issue.

Identifying individual wants, needs and desires is useful tool in assisting couples in meeting their own needs in their partnership. Communicating your needs in an effective, focused manner can allow you to set up specific goals and meet them. These strategies can be useful in avoiding unwanted arguments and resolving concerns so that couples can focus more on the joys of being together!

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Turning Relationships Up in a Downturn Economy

July 10, 2009 at 4:32 pm · Filed under Couples

Leslie Baker web

Current economic news is influencing more than bank accounts; it is also affecting couples’ relationships.  In recent times of prosperity, couples worked hard and played hard, often creating debt as they focused on getting out, going somewhere special or buying something new. Since the economic downturn, many people now face limited funds for recreation and the realities of losing investments and even homes.  Increased debt adds stress in their relationships.  Financial problems are sending many a relationship into a downturn, along with the economy, but it is possible to use the economic downturn to affect your relationships in a positive way. Tough financial times can be the perfect time to reconnect.

Many people struggle with lack of connection, feelings of loneliness and conflict in their relationships. Often partners wish to spend more time together but sacrifice it because of work and other family responsibilities.  They believe that money enables them “connect” and use it to deal with their anxiety and develop their relationships.  In this new economy, couples have the opportunity to create a new way of connecting around each other, rather than around bank accounts, and bring joy back into their relationships.

Having more time can be a first step toward building stronger relationships, but time together can bring its own challenges.  Many couples become overly focused on problems and spend too much time discussing them. Communication is important, but too much can create an environment of constant crisis. A more useful strategy is to limit the “problem” conversations to times when both partners are rested, to focus those discussions on specific goals, and to negotiate toward specific solutions.  For example, a couple may sit down once a week to review and prioritize bills.  Partners can make lists of their individual priorities and then negotiate toward creating a workable list. Once the list is set into motion, the “problem” conversation can be set aside and the rest of the time can be spent on activities that are stress free and fun.

Tips for low-cost fun can involve getting involved in your community, attending free or low-cost activities like park naturalist classes, walking festivals, outdoor concerts, local sporting events or lectures. These activities afford the opportunity to reconnect not only with each other but with family, friends and neighbors. Couples may want to organize a pot luck or progressive dinner including board games, dominos or cards — or create a romantic evening just for the two of you. A few candles, music and a hot bath can bring the joy back into a relationship as well as relax the stress away.

Taking care of yourself and your partner is a good investment no matter the state of the economy.  Relationships present many challenges and learning how to navigate those challenges is the core of couples’ ultimate success and happiness. During this economic downturn, take the opportunity to create an upturn in your relationship.

More information about Leslie Baker, MA, MFT is available at http://lesliebakermft.com.

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Sexting Prevention

June 26, 2009 at 9:51 pm · Filed under Teen Issues ·Tagged , , ,

Leslie Baker“Sexting” is a current trend among an increasing number of teens. It involves texting sexual information (photos or words) to one another. Recent studies show almost 50 % of all teens participate in “sexting,” risking social and legal repercussions. 

The National Campaign published a recent study that compiled statistics from a 2008 research study of Sex and Tech behavior among teens. It reported that 20% of teenagers overall have sent or posted nude or seminude pictures or video of themselves. The study also showed 39% of all teenagers are sending or posting sexually suggestive messages to each other.

Teens are at risk legally and socially by sending illicit information over the Internet or by cell phones. Teens who get caught, can be prosecuted as sex offenders. If this happens, they may then be required to register as a sex offender for the rest of their lives.

Preventing these risky behaviors is an important concern for parents, teens and communities. Providing resources to teens to assist them in understanding and preventing “sexting” behavior can help protect their futures. 

Two concepts that have been useful in helping to teach youth how to stay safe are the concepts of personal value and “no secrets.” These concepts were pioneered by Jan Hindman, an expert in the field of trauma recovery.

Teaching personal value is important in preventing abuse. Hindman says that children need to value their bodies like their material possessions, such as cell phones, in this case. They will be more likely to take care of their bodies and be more respectful toward themselves and others.

Teens seem to have an innate instinct to protect their cell phones and other electronic devices. Communicating this level of value and respect regarding their bodies can assist teens in making better choices about posting and texting. Teaching teens about personal value is an important beginning toward protecting them.

Increasing teens’ sense of personal value can also enable them to tell someone about abuse. Teens often tell when their cell phones or computers are taken or broken. Helping teens to develop a “no secrets” policy regarding Internet and text abuse is crucial.

Keeping secrets allows the offenders to keep on abusing. Teens can be taught that secrets can hurt and that breaking the silence can help in preventing more problems.

Parents need to be open to teens’ opinions by fostering a community of listening. Ask them how they might handle themselves in a situation involving “sexting.” This can help build strategies that they can implement on their own.

What Lasts Forever 

Creating an atmosphere of openness and support is helpful in allowing youth to speak out when problems arise. Ask teens for input on how they are dealing with texting and online use. Educate them about the pitfalls of texting and posting online.

  • Information lasts forever.
  • Posting and texting can affect futures (jobs and reputations).
  • Think before posting or texting.

Helping teens value themselves as they value their cell phones is a useful place to start. Communication about personal value and no secrets is a first step in prevention. Take time to have a discussion, read a book or share information provided by the health education program at school. Online resources such as The National Campaign are also available to parents to help with how to start discussions about these challenging topics.

More information about Leslie Baker, MA, MFT is available at http://lesliebakermft.com.

References

Hindman, J. (1993) Abuses in Sexual Abuse Prevention Programs: Or Ways We Abuse Our Children As We Attempt to Prevent Abuse. Oregon: AlexAndria Associates.

Hindman, J. (1983) The Very Touching Book. Oregon: AlexAndria Associates.

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